I have come to realise after these last few months, that having two very young children is hard and I can’t do it alone. I live far away from my family. Every single one of my family members are back home in Australia. I can’t call my mum for help when I’m feeling overwhelmed and it all gets too much. I can’t call my sister and see if she wants to meet up for a coffee and let our kids have a play. So instead I have taken on the attitude that I can do it all. But after the birth of our daughter, the adjustment has been a little hard, not impossible but I am turning over a new leaf and welcoming the help.
Before this, I started to feel my stress levels go through the roof. I felt like I was losing the connection with my son because he is a typical 2-year-old and what comes with that is mischief, testing boundaries, tantrums, constant need of attention, constant activities, screaming and fighting sleep. I felt like everything was a battle with him. Combine that with a baby who was up all night for feedings and I was one exhausted mama. Which made me tired, irritable and I had zero patience.
I finally had to let go of the control and the guilt and open up to the idea of welcoming the help. Of course I have the support and love from my partner, Joe. But he is at work for 12 hours from Monday to Friday. He is amazing on the weekends and has gone into work late to give me an extra hour to sleep in in the morning. I also have amazing friends who love to help, but they work full time. So my mother in law occasionally looks after Noah, she has been asking for a long time now and loves it. She takes Noah for an entire day, here and there and its working great.
I think we both have benefited from these day breaks. He gets to spend time with his grandparents and I get one on one time with Siena. I always carry a bit of guilt because I don’t get that intimate time with her as I did with Noah, obviously because he was our first-born. I also get to miss Noah, so when he comes home it’s all play and cuddles. If he is not over stimulated and over tired 😉
My children need their mummy, they need me to be patient and calm. I have learned that I need to take that time for myself so I can be the best mummy that I can be to them. So welcoming the help, whatever it may be, is the best thing I can do or any mother can do for their babies.